My calendar is guaranteed…against apocalyptic events

Did you know that often calendars are ‘published’ just like books are? Both have an ISBN number ( International Standard Book Number). ISBN numbers help those of us in the book industry to identify a book, published with different bindings and formats, much like a VIN number for your car.


As part of my type “A” personality/ busy working Mummy lifestyle, I make it a habit to purchase a small pocket calendar ( Mary Englebright) , each July for the upcoming year. I love my electronic Google calendar and iPad, though the traditional pocket calendar is easier to keep track of pediatrician appointments, upcoming immunizations, swim lesson registrations etc.

Recently, I learned that my 2013 calendar comes with a guarantee from my friends at

If the “end of the world” occurs on 12/21/12 (Central Standard Time Zone), will refund to you 100% of the purchase price of 2013 calendars or 2.7% of the purchase price of 2012 calendars.

The end of the world is defined as the end of all existence of any known, or unknown, life forms, animals, vegetables, or minerals within any known or currently unknown universe, solar system, or galaxy. Should another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of calendars, or this promotion, in that universe cannot be guaranteed. The end of the world is not defined as the breakup of any relationship between Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez or the retirement of the McRib™ sandwich. If the end of the world results in a Waterworld scenario, please see Kevin Costner to receive your refund.

Unfortunately, refunds will be issued

in the form of Twinkies™, gold bullion, water bottles, canned goods, incandescent light bulbs, roaches, or any form of new world currency at the discretion of

FEMA has not rated calendars for effectiveness against Zombies.

So it is a comprehensive guarantee, though there are, as always, loopholes.


Maybe I will just succumb to the zombies snacking on my brain  and be done with it.

as found on